


B is for Bulletproof Vest

by Susspencer



Series: 2016 Alphabet Series 1st time [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Misunderstandings, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 23:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7458394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susspencer/pseuds/Susspencer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Hotch stares down at the bulletproof vest in his hand, he wonders if all the hurt, anger, and emotions that he has hidden behind his stoic mask, has that mask actually protected him or not.   As Reid stares down at the bulletproof vest in his hand, he wonders if the academia, the knowledge, and learning that he has hidden behind, has actually protected him or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	B is for Bulletproof Vest

**Author's Note:**

> This for my alphabet challenge for 2016. Trying to get through the alphabet in 2016.
> 
> Hmmm on B in July, want to take bets on making it? lol

SSA Aaron Hotchner sat in the chair at Orlando Regional Medical Center holding the bulletproof vest, just staring at the slugs in it. His eyes were distant and lost. Rossi and Lewis exchanged looks and just shook their heads, acknowledging that they should leave him alone. He runs his fingers over the three slugs. Rossi sits in the seat next to him. Hotch doesn’t even look over. Dave takes off his own vest and lays it across his lap. FBI in white, clean and clear facing upwards. They have been here before and will be again. 

Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~~~~

Looking at the mushroomed bullet imbedded in the vest that he held in his hands, Reid leaned forward in his plastic chair at Florida Hospital South, Winter Park. He knew logically that the FBI bulletproof vest had done its job properly. Bulletproof or bullet resistant vests are made of layers of varying fabrics designed to absorb the impact and reduce or stop penetration to the body from firearm fired projectiles and shrapnel from explosions. A vest, worn on the torso, can prevent bullet penetration, the vest and wearer still absorb the bullet's energy. Modern pistol bullets, even without penetration, contain enough energy to cause blunt force trauma, under the impact point. While vest specifications will typically include both penetration resistance requirements and limits on the amount of impact energy that is delivered to the body, they vary from … his thoughts trailed off as he heard someone sit next to him.

JJ asked “Have you heard anything yet?”

Spencer just shook his head. He was still trying not to think about what had happened. All he could focus on were the 3 slugs in the vest. 

Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~

As he touches the first slug, Aaron remembers being at home. He hears his father calling him. How he wants to hide, run, anything but answer. “Coming, Sir,” Aaron answers, as he quickly goes to his father’s office. He knows what is coming. He has a B on his report card. “Hotchner’s do not get B’s. How will you get into a good law school? What are you stupid? No son of mine gets a B. I can’t believe this...did you even try? English? There is no excuse for this damn stupidity…” as the report card goes flying at little 10 year old Aaron. He stands there, it is one of the first times he pulls on his mask. He isn’t going to give ‘dad’ the satisfaction of seeing him cry this time. “Come over here, you lazy, good for nothing, excuse of a boy.” His father yells. As his father takes off his belt, Aaron walks over ready for the beating that is coming. While inside the emotions are bubbling, hurting, tearing him apart, he braces himself for the physical pain. Father Hotchner slugs down the rest of his drink and starts beating on Aaron’s backside. “You are so stupid, you speak and write English everyday, how can you get a B? OH MY GOD! I don’t even know why I work so hard to give you nice things, when you won’t try to do your school work. Do you think everything will just be handed to you foreVER? ALL THIS IS FOR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR BROTHER, IF YOU DON’T GET THOSE GRADES UP YOU WILL GET NOTHING!” He yells as the hits get harder and harder. Leaving welts and bruises, scars inside and out, finally Mr. Hotchner sends Aaron to his room. Behind the door, he lets his mask down and cries. Not from weakness, not from lack of bravery, but from the impact of the verbal and physical shots. Stoic mask fail one, pain is still there, but it isn’t lethal.

Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~~~~

Reid runs his finger over the first mushroomed silver slug. His mind goes back to his Las Vegas school days. Images of being chased home by bullies pops up. Followed by the hurtful words that they used as they hit him, “geek, know it all, think you are smarter than us all, wimp, 4 eyes, and momma’s boy.” Wanting so much to find a friend, to fit in,to just have a real friend, Spencer recalls the deep heartache of loneliness and exile. He lets out a loud sigh. Wishing there was an answer in his Psychology studies to stop bullying, alas only ways to treat the aftermath. Academia fails him on this one, but he lives on. 

Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~

Hearing a door open and close, Hotch looks up. A nurse walks past and keeps going. Aaron sighs, looks back down at the vest and rubs his thumb over the 2nd slug. Closing his eyes and sitting back in his chair, the memories just flood over him. It is almost like a tidal wave. There is the wedding, the arguments when he wants to go into SWAT, then the FBI and the BAU, Jack being born...the hang ups when he answers the phone and then Haley’s cell rings…the ultimatum that he transfers. It seems to Aaron that his life with Haley was joy, pain, joy, pain, joy… No wonder that he seemed to keep his mask on at home as much as work. He sighs, looking down at the bullet. He thinks of the bullet in his apartment wall after the divorce. The final blow to any possibility of him and Haley. Foyet shot at him, he put on his stoic mask, to show him no fear. What did it get him? 9 stabs with a knife, months of wondering if his ex-wife and son were really safe in witness protection, obsessing about Foyet, listening to his ex-wife get shot over the phone, wondering if his son was hidden, as he had told him to ’work the case,’ to the final end where his mask failed for the second time and he cried in front of his team. The emotional pain pouring out as he held his dead wife. The relief that Foyet would hurt no one again, the joy that his son was safe, and the pain of what the unknown future would hold hidden behind his stoic face as sat before Strauss and the review committee. He pressed on, yet the pain in his heart as a blunt force trauma took so long to heal. 

Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~~~~

The 2nd slug had hit deeper. Reid picked at it. Recalling his days at the FBI academy, Spencer leaned back in his chair. Failing miserably at the gun range, hand to hand combat, and the obstacle course. It is just a matter of lines, angles and trajectory for shooting. Any idiot should be able to do it, he had told himself over and over. Flipping someone in the hand to hand combat was just a matter of leverage. Jeez that was basic science, even the petite women could do that. Sure the obstacle course was designed to be difficult, but wasn’t it really just a puzzle. I finish the crossword everyday in less than 10 minutes. Applied Physics, Advanced Mathematics, and Basic Science, not one of these courses applied without physical strength could get him through the academy without waivers. Academia 0 - Real life 2.

Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~

The third slug brushed against the knuckle of Hotch’s index finger. He glanced at it. It was deeply impacted into the vest. He wondered for a moment why this one had hit with more force. Before he could continue the thought, his mind jumped to seeing his team getting shot one by one. First Reid, then Rossi, next was Morgan laying next to him, as he was unable to move because of the mixture of drugs that Peter Lewis had sprayed into his face. “NO!” Aaron said. He wasn’t going down that memory trail again. Therapy, talking to Reid, no Spencer, building their relationship, becoming a couple, working past the idea, the fear, of losing the ones, the one that he loved. It had been too much. He had come too far. He wasn’t going to hide his emotions and feelings, so that they could be used against him. 

Rossi looked over at him, having heard him. He saw a bit of moisture in his eye. Placing a hand on Hotch’s leg, “Do you want to me to go ask, How things are going?” Hotch nodded.

Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~~~~

Looking at the third bullet, Spencer closed his eyes rubbing his finger over it. The touch of the metal, the alloy, the ragged edges, invoking feelings, memories, sensations that started opening compartments of his eidetic memory. He remembered a cool rag on his forehead when he was going through the withdrawal from dilaudid. The hand on the other side of the rag, gently caressing his face. Words, telling him it would be over soon and it would be okay. Alloy, a mixture of metals to create a casing that would stay intact to inflict damage. Similar to the carefully penned words that Gideon had left in his letter, the one addressed to Spencer at his cabin, when he abandoned the team, and Spencer - just like his father. Tears streaming down his face … He knew there were plenty of statistics on single parent households, but academia never added schizophrenia to that equation. JJ asked, “want me to check on what is happening?” Spencer wiped his face and nodded.

Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~

Rossi returned and Hotch looked up. “Reid isn’t here. Are you sure this is the hospital they were taking him too?

“I just asked what was the closest hospital,” Hotch looked panicked. “I was trying to get them to stop treating me and let me get to Reid.” He slammed his hand down on the vest. 

Placing a hand on his shoulder, “They said there is another hospital, Florida Hospital, straight up this same road. He could have been taken there. The nurse is checking.” Rossi said.

Lewis took out her phone and sent a text.

Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~Reid~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~Reid~~~~~~~~~~

Having regained his composure, Reid was watching for JJ as she returned. She looked rather perplexed. “Hotch isn’t here.” 

“They released him? Where would he have gone? How did we miss him?” Reid started rambling in a panicked tone.

“He never was here,” she said as she held up her hand to stop him. “Did they say they were bringing him here?”

“U-um, I just asked them to leave me alone and tell me where the nearest hospital was. Ambulances always take GSWs to the nearest hospital. The EMT sent me here.” Reid answered. 

“There is another hospital, Orlando Regional Medical Center on Orange Ave, also. They have a Trauma Center. It is possible that he was taken there. The nurse is checking for us.” JJ said.

Spencer became quite anxious. JJ put her hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him as her phone buzzed. She took it out and read the text message.

Sitting in waiting room at Orlando Regional, where are you? Reid with you? Is he okay? Hotch is worried? -Tara

Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~Hotch~~~~~~~

The nurse walked up, shaking her head. “There is no patient there with the name of Spencer Reid. I hope that is good news then,” she said. She smiled and walked away.

Rossi thanked her and looked at Aaron. Who was shaking his head. Dave just kept his hand on Aaron’s shoulder. He looked up at Tara, with a what do we do now look. She just smiled a small smile at him. Her phone buzzed and she looked down.

Sitting in waiting room at Florida Hospital with Reid, who is fine. He is worried about Hotch. :o

Tara giggled. Hotch glared at her. She leaned over and showed him the text. The phone buzzed again.

Meet you at the hotel! JJ


End file.
